Summer 2018

Finding Conscious & Complete Partners—Class 12 :: Optimizing Online Dating Services

There are many obstacles to using online dating services. People’s profiles can be fishing expeditions by married individuals looking for a hookup. Their pictures may be 20 years old, if we are lucky. The very medium of interacting through a computer tends to attract more Distant or disengaged people. Finally, there are the many misguided attempts to determine compatibility through a series of questions. Despite these obstacles, online dating provides a focused group of individuals who believe they are capable of attracting a partner. Higher Alignment’s assessment tools provide a way to cut through these obstacles to identify the top candidates in your locale. This requires good pictures and simple qualification statements (such as, are they non-smokers?), and some sort of background check.

While it is more difficult to use online dating services (for all the above reasons), there are also opportunities to practice and explore possibilities with people who may be more similar to you. It requires preparing a profile, selecting photos, answering a lot of questions and being willing to monitor the process on a regular basis. Some people find this to be too tedious. For them, we need to work on putting them in places (locations, groups, activities, etc.) where they would most likely meet the people who are similar to them. These individuals will need more ability to see compatibility differences. They will also want to use their network of friends for people who might match the qualities they seek. This is why, upon reflection, some of the dating sites are a bit more effective than others. What Higher Alignment can do is go through the pictures of your choosing and point out the people who are your Primary Creative Expression, could be sexually compatible and who are defensively similar. Individuals, such as Larry, can search through and assess up to 800 pictures per hour. In these situations, we usually find 10 or more suitable matches. This still requires people to follow up these individuals and inspire them to respond.

The benefit of online dating is that our preferences can be taken into account. This means we can sort people by age, if they smoke, their marital status, social activities and even athletic interests (if any). Since there are at least 60 million individuals on dating sites at any given time, there are many opportunities for connection. This allows a greater degree of targeting that can lead to finding appropriate partners. Higher Alignment sees this process as a way to practice showing up an being ourselves. It encourages us to be confident and to not compromise ourselves. It focuses us on the larger picture so we can learn how a person might work with us, even if they do not look like they would fit our preconceived notions. We still stand by the concept that it is us taking ownership of our creativity that makes us visible and attractive to the best partner candidates. It is time to be the driving energy behind what will fulfill us.

Facilitators: Larry Byram & Sandra Jaquith

Class Schedule: Saturday, November 10th 2018, 12pm-5pm MT (no lunch break)

Location: 2945 Center Green Court, Ste. E, Boulder, CO 80301 (or by webinar)

$59.00

Singles Creative Assessment Party - October 2018

Independent Perspectives About Your Style

Creative Assessments are ways we honor our differences. Each Compatibility Factor identifies a range of choices that can help us to see why we are not accepted or understood for who we are. At our assessment parties we cover seven factors that most impact relationship choices. While we do try to be 85% accurate on pictures, and 90-95% accuracy in person, there are challenges. The reason our coaches are more accurate is they have cleared their own parental distortions and are not projecting them on their clients. Sometimes clients are not able to support the process because of contradictory beliefs they hold from childhood. Any confusion we may experience also limits our ability to accurately see others.


The value of doing a Creative Assessment is it allows us to identify where are aligned to or similar to someone. This can lead to choosing better partners. When someone is similar to us, it does not require much work to explain ourselves. The issue is about loving ourselves as we are, because it allows us to see and engage those who are most able to love us. Otherwise, we end up looking for partners who match our parental patterns. This is why so many of us use Excitement, Intensity and Anxiety to determine which partners will be the most willing to compromise themselves for us. This promotes Co-Dependent choices over Co-Creative ones.


There is even a value in identifying our differences, as this can lead to discovering better ways to operate together. For example, if we know our partner’s first level of communication is Think-First, and we are Feel-First, it would be best to engage the Think-First with information or Content. We can ask them if they want to talk about a particular topic, how much time they have, and the bullet points we think should be covered. We complete this communication by asking when they would like to make a decision (because they are time centered). This gives a Think-First individual time to prepare and allows the Feel First person to organize their information so the Think-First partner can quickly validate it. Since a Think-First person seeks Truth and a Feel-First individual seeks harmony, the Feel-First individual can create more truth by being consistent and declarative in their harmony.


This is just one example of differences we see between individuals around how they communicate. Understanding the full range of communication options empowers us to recognize what is needed in different situations. In our Mini Creative Assessment process, we discuss the seven differences in Communication style, Decision-Making, Defense Styles, Pacing differences and the three levels of creative archetypes. We not only combine these assessments individually, but discuss the differences in the group so people can see how each factor honors their natural way of Being. The more we understand what makes us powerful contributors, the easier it is to find partners and authentic work that is aligned with us.


Only 20 people will be able to participate in this Creative Assessment process. This month’s event is only for singles. Next month it will only be for couples. This allows us to customize the conversation so people can learn the most in the least amount of time. We will send out presentations and recordings of the event. Videos taken will not show individual participants. It is on a first come, first served basis. You may call Sandy Jaquith for registration or respond to one of our email registration processes. We will operate in a safe group space and go though the assessments one level at a time. We will provide assessment booklets to help people make sense of the different patterns.


Date: Saturday, October 20, 2018 5:30-9:00pm Mountain Time
Facilitators: Larry Byram & Sandy Jaquith
Location: 2945 Center Green Court, Ste. E, Boulder, CO 80301

Couples Creative Assessment Party (Rescheduled)

Independent Perspectives About Your Style

Creative Assessments are ways we honor our differences. Each Compatibility Factor identifies a range of choices that can help us to see why we are not accepted or understood for who we are. This month the Creative Assessment Party is for couples so they can share the experience and work with each other from an equal level. We will summarize the differences and similarities of each couples’ mini-compatibility factors. Larry will also identify the major challenge in the relationship related to Objectification, Subjectification, or Idealization.


At our assessment parties we cover seven factors that most impact relationship choices. While we do try to be 85% accurate on pictures, and 90-95% accuracy in person, there are challenges. The reason our coaches are more accurate is they have cleared their own parental distortions and are not projecting them on their clients. Sometimes clients are not able to support the process because of contradictory beliefs they hold from childhood. Any confusion we may experience also limits our ability to accurately see others.


The value of doing a Creative Assessment is that it allows us to identify where are aligned to or similar to someone. This can lead to working more effectively with our partners. When someone is similar to us, it does not require much work to explain ourselves. The issue is about loving ourselves as we are because it allows us to see and engage those who are most able to love us. Many of us look for partners who match our parental patterns which is why we use Excitement, Intensity and Anxiety to determine which partners will be the most willing to compromise themselves for us. This promotes Co-Dependent choices over Co-Creative ones.


There is even a value in identifying our differences, as this can lead to discovering better ways to operate together. For example, if we know our partner’s first level of communication is Think-First, and we are Feel-First, it would be best to engage the Think-First with information or Content. We can ask them if they want to talk about a particular topic, how much time they have, and the bullet points we think should be covered. We complete this communication by asking when they would like to make a decision (because they are time centered). This gives a Think-First individual time to prepare and allows the Feel First person to organize their information so the Think-First partner can quickly validate it. Since a Think-First person seeks Truth and a Feel-First individual seeks harmony, the Feel-First individual can create more truth by being consistent and declarative in their harmony.


This is just one example of differences we see between individuals around how they communicate. Understanding the full range of communication options empowers us to recognize what is needed in different situations. In our Mini Creative Assessment process, we discuss the seven differences in Communication style, Decision-Making, Defense Styles, Pacing differences and the three levels of creative archetypes. We not only combine these assessments individually, but discuss the differences in the group so people can see how each factor honors their natural way of Being. The more we understand what makes us powerful contributors, the easier it is to find partners and authentic work that is aligned with us.


Only 10 couples will be able to participate in this Creative Assessment process. This is a special event to support couples to engage the Creative Discovery process. This allows us to customize the conversation so people can learn the most in the least amount of time. We will send out presentations and recordings of the event. Videos taken will not show individual participants. It is on a first come, first served basis.


Date: Saturday, September 15th, 2018 5:30-9:00pm Mountain Time
Facilitators: Larry Byram & Sandy Jaquith
Location: 2945 Center Green Court, Ste. E, Boulder, CO 80301