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Finding Conscious & Complete Partners

Enlightened Dating Summary

Changing our selection criteria for partners takes an understanding of what we are seeking. We need to learn how to be ourselves as Creative Being so we can attract partners who would naturally match us. This requires reorienting ourselves to what attracts us. We also need to stand up for ourselves so others can see us fully. Otherwise, we get caught in unconscious parental patterns or opposite attraction partners where Co-Dependence rules. This program, when followed, makes us conscious of when we are sabotaging ourselves by choosing partners who cannot go the distance. This twelve part series is meant to be a total program, yet some individuals feel they may only need certain parts of it. In our experience, the first six classes help us to become aware of our choices so we can shift beyond entanglement options.

Class Note: This is the first time everyone will have to pay in advance through PayPal. If attendees only register for the first class, and then want to do the full series, they will have to pay the full series price without a discount. This is due to new administration requirements. On the upside, by purchasing the whole series, we are providing Mini Creative Assessments for your parents and up to 3 past partners (a $145 value). Thank you for understanding our desire to have an effective enrollment process.

Select Complete Class Series (or individual classes) below and add to your cart. Gift cards available at bottom.

Picture of Finding Conscious & Complete Partners—Class 8 :: Building Relationship Skills
Finding Conscious & Complete Partners—Class 8 :: Building Relationship Skills
There are four primary relationship Skills that are critical to long-term relationships. They are Growth, Autonomy, Intimacy and Co-Creativity. Co-Creativity is only possible when we have developed the previous three. In fact, the sequence is one where each step requires the previous to be embodied. This means to develop Autonomy we have to choose our growth. To have Intimacy, we need to take risks and be vulnerable, which means knowing who we are. Co-Creativity itself requires the interaction of Life, Light and Love energies that we often simply into Aliveness, Wisdom and Awareness. There are many problems that arise when we cannot engage others due to a lack of partner skills. For example, if our partner cannot tell us their Truth, their lack of Autonomy minimizes our ability to be intimate with them, making Co-Creativity impossible.

Conditional forms of love minimize our relationship skills. Protective Love is the main reason why people withhold their truth. Directive Love eliminates any true intimacy. Quid Pro Quo Love creates a false sense of equality, which compromises any attempts at creativity. When we build relationship skills it is because we have aligned Motives and can trust our partners. Many attempts at trying to fix relationships are actually destructive. Therefore, it is critical for partners to have an understanding of how they can grow and develop together. Until we can establish this trust we will not operate as a team with a larger central purpose. This is why we need to prepare by organizing ourselves in terms of something larger than us, something our partner(s) can count on us to be committed to.

What is the focus and availability of the partners we are considering? How have they organized themselves to make a difference in the world? Who are their friends and business associates? Are their constituents yours too? If there is a common Skills, Attractions and Motives base, our friends will be their friends and we can mix the two. If our friends cannot work together, it indicates differences that outshine their similarities. The more similarities we have with our partners, the easier it is to be Transpersonal with them. It is also easier for our friends to partner with their friends. This reveals a common support system that dramatically increases the likelihood of a long-term partnership.

Facilitators: Larry Byram & Sandra Jaquith

Class Schedule: Saturday, September 8th 2018, 12pm-5pm MT (no lunch break)

Location: 2945 Center Green Court, Ste. E, Boulder, CO 80301 (or by webinar)

Picture of Finding Conscious & Complete Partners—Class 9 :: Discovering What Works
Finding Conscious & Complete Partners—Class 9 :: Discovering What Works
As we explore each relationship we learn to validate our preferences so we understand what irritates us and what works for us. Starting with the premise of our Creative Nature, we are naturally attracted to individuals who are similar. Since we have grown up in compromised relationships, we frequently become enamored by the idea of overcoming differences as a way to prove ourselves to our partners. This approach minimizes our creative flow and maximizes our separateness. Making conscious choices about relationships requires experiencing both sides of the spectrum, from many commonalities to many differences. Some individuals prefer a mixture of the two, because it keeps them alert. The real question is, what resources do I have to deal with these patterns over time?

When a new person shows up and they remind us of a positive association, how will this association fare over time? Few of us have answers for these questions. It takes experimenting with two or three conscious relationships before we know what works for us. Otherwise, we fall into unconscious parental, opposition or power frameworks of choice. Since we suggest that you use two major Compatibility Factors (Primary Creative Expression and our Defense style) as the starting points for sorting out our best partner opportunities, we still need to validate other options to make sure they are viable choices. We recommend avoiding Co-Dependent or oppositional choices. We suggest that certain parental imprints will become irritating over time.

The real impact of these issues is determined by how we hold them in ourselves. Some differences take a lot of energy to manage, while others may not. In this course, we will talk about the benefits of common Pacing, Communication Process and Decision Making Approach. Sometimes, finding a partner with a similar parental pattern means we understand them better than our own pattern. It takes experimentation and observation to make these choices conscious. We believe it is likely that you will have a better sense of this balance within seven months. The problem is that we do not speak our Truth about the impact of our differences, believing they will magically go away. This is a mistake! The cost of this path is we get in relationships that last two years or less. Our recommendation is to speak openly about your differences and accept personal responsibility that it is only our reaction, not our partner’s, that is the cause. Our partners are not doing it ‘to us,’ because we are responsible for our internal response. If we cannot change this response, we need to recognize it as our issue. Our objective needs to be to accept our partner completely as they are.

Facilitators: Larry Byram & Sandra Jaquith

Class Schedule: Saturday, September 22nd 2018, 12pm-5pm MT (no lunch break)

Location: 2945 Center Green Court, Ste. E, Boulder, CO 80301 (or by webinar)

Picture of Finding Conscious & Complete Partners—Class 10 :: Utilizing Common Lessons
Finding Conscious & Complete Partners—Class 10 :: Utilizing Common Lessons
When we have common Motives and Skills, our life lessons become more obvious. This can become a major opportunity to accelerate our mutual development, because being with a partner who sees us fully reminds us of our gifts and grace. Business or romantic partners also help us to make the connection between personal endeavors and partnership explorations. Having a work-life balance is critical to maintaining our sense of self. Without Personal Autonomy, we would not be able to take risks in service of larger possibilities. While relationships can be highly stimulating, we also need to respect our personal pacing. Like breathing, there are cycles of inspiration and exhalation, where individuals learn to take time for themselves so they have insights to bring back to the relationship.

One final way we validate a great relationship is our ability to relax together. While many idealize and do infantile behaviors as a way of justifying relaxation, it is Stillness, Silence and Solitude, separately and together, that makes relaxation a goal in itself. The goal, of course, is regeneration. Without regeneration, cyclic behaviors would have no purpose. It is also how we can clear out imbalances in our experiential modalities of Sensations, Feelings, Emotions and Thoughts. Whenever we become attached, positional or overwhelmed on any of the four levels, it creates blockages where we act out through Objectification, Subjectification and Idealization patterns. the result is that we cannot be present to each other because we have distanced ourselves from our partners. When these patterns become a defensive protection system, our separativeness is complete. We are no longer available to each other or anyone else.

Understanding how our partners respond to life, and what we can do to benefit them, requires self reflection. We need to be able to separate our own experience from theirs so we can see how to best support them. We need to learn to not try to fix our partners, but instead be responsive, playful and even paradoxical in our interactions. Self-understanding is the best way to reach others in their own pain. The more we can be empathic, without losing ourselves, the more compassion we will demonstrate. It is also critical not to push or attempt to process our partners so they fix themselves. They need to have their own motivation and desire to engage, or nothing will move or grow. In this class, we will cover the Twelve Lessons of Growth in relationships. When we find alignment in our lessons and how we interact together in service of these lessons, we have found a great partner!

Facilitators: Larry Byram & Sandra Jaquith

Class Schedule: Saturday, October 13th 2018, 12pm-5pm MT (no lunch break)

Location: 2945 Center Green Court, Ste. E, Boulder, CO 80301 (or by webinar)

Picture of Finding Conscious & Complete Partners—Class 11 :: Revealing What Is Important
Finding Conscious & Complete Partners—Class 11 :: Revealing What Is Important
Being real is the way conscious individuals attract attention. The more we are comfortable expressing both the good and the bad, the more our partners will come to trust us. One of the common mistakes people make is not telling the whole story or misrepresenting a circumstance, then having it emerge in an unplanned way. Another mistake is to amplify our image by trying to impress others. This comes off as insincere, then later becomes a repulsion when it become publicly known as untrue. The Truth needs no embellishment. Anyone who believes it does is operating unconsciously in their personality programming. Since we are looking for conscious individuals who would automatically suspect flattery as a seduction program, they would know that embellishments are a problem. In fact, for these people, they are major warning signs.

Participation and engagement are what distinguish conscious individuals from unconscious ones. Conscious individuals have many different ways to successfully engage others. They do not give up or lack enthusiasm in exploring options. Unconscious people give up quickly and have less willingness to place themselves in any open or intimate environment. Conscious individuals know how to ask questions and their curiosity drives them to try and understand why things are the way they are. Conscious individuals promote self-ownership and the revelation of who people are. They love respecting the mystery and esteeming the mastery of the people with whom they come in contact. They are unselfish and open to seeing things from others’ perspectives. What distinguishes them is there ability to invest and be with people as they are.

What is different about conscious people is their willingness to listen to people’s stories without taking them seriously. Stories do not make a person; experience does. Most people edit their experiences so what they tell you is only partially true. As conscious individuals, we need to frame our own Truth in a way that attracts the right people to us. This means expanding and rewriting our stories so we are no longer at their effect. This means they need to be more transpersonally uplifted. In this class, we explore how to say who we are without relying on previous stories. Let us learn to focus on Compatibility Factors, Motives and relationship Lessons as our initial connection opportunities. This will provide the key indicators of whether or not we invest further time in someone.

Facilitators: Larry Byram & Sandra Jaquith

Class Schedule: Saturday, October 27th 2018, 12pm-5pm MT (no lunch break)

Location: 2945 Center Green Court, Ste. E, Boulder, CO 80301 (or by webinar)

Picture of Finding Conscious & Complete Partners—Class 12 :: Optimizing Online Dating Services
Finding Conscious & Complete Partners—Class 12 :: Optimizing Online Dating Services
There are many obstacles to using online dating services. People’s profiles can be fishing expeditions by married individuals looking for a hookup. Their pictures may be 20 years old, if we are lucky. The very medium of interacting through a computer tends to attract more Distant or disengaged people. Finally, there are the many misguided attempts to determine compatibility through a series of questions. Despite these obstacles, online dating provides a focused group of individuals who believe they are capable of attracting a partner. Higher Alignment’s assessment tools provide a way to cut through these obstacles to identify the top candidates in your locale. This requires good pictures and simple qualification statements (such as, are they non-smokers?), and some sort of background check.

While it is more difficult to use online dating services (for all the above reasons), there are also opportunities to practice and explore possibilities with people who may be more similar to you. It requires preparing a profile, selecting photos, answering a lot of questions and being willing to monitor the process on a regular basis. Some people find this to be too tedious. For them, we need to work on putting them in places (locations, groups, activities, etc.) where they would most likely meet the people who are similar to them. These individuals will need more ability to see compatibility differences. They will also want to use their network of friends for people who might match the qualities they seek. This is why, upon reflection, some of the dating sites are a bit more effective than others. What Higher Alignment can do is go through the pictures of your choosing and point out the people who are your Primary Creative Expression, could be sexually compatible and who are defensively similar. Individuals, such as Larry, can search through and assess up to 800 pictures per hour. In these situations, we usually find 10 or more suitable matches. This still requires people to follow up these individuals and inspire them to respond.

The benefit of online dating is that our preferences can be taken into account. This means we can sort people by age, if they smoke, their marital status, social activities and even athletic interests (if any). Since there are at least 60 million individuals on dating sites at any given time, there are many opportunities for connection. This allows a greater degree of targeting that can lead to finding appropriate partners. Higher Alignment sees this process as a way to practice showing up an being ourselves. It encourages us to be confident and to not compromise ourselves. It focuses us on the larger picture so we can learn how a person might work with us, even if they do not look like they would fit our preconceived notions. We still stand by the concept that it is us taking ownership of our creativity that makes us visible and attractive to the best partner candidates. It is time to be the driving energy behind what will fulfill us.

Facilitators: Larry Byram & Sandra Jaquith

Class Schedule: Saturday, November 10th 2018, 12pm-5pm MT (no lunch break)

Location: 2945 Center Green Court, Ste. E, Boulder, CO 80301 (or by webinar)