There are three indicators that we are choosing a compromised or co-dependent relationship. If we feel Excited, Intense or Anxious, or a combination thereof, we can guarantee we are compromising ourselves to earn their goodwill. Some of us get caught up in elaborate role-playing or over-the-top Romantic Mythologies that indicate a clash of cultural or compatibility differences. Each difference also becomes the basis of our defensive Distortions, which means we cannot accurately see our partners. Excitement reflects imbalances between Sensations and Feelings, which minimizes Aliveness and the appreciation of Beauty. Intensity reflects an imbalance between Emotions and Thoughts, which minimizes Wisdom and the ability to speak our Truth. Anxiety reflects imbalances between our Feeling and Emotions, and our bodies and minds, which minimizes Awareness, the experience of Love and Passion.
If we cannot go beyond defining relationships in terms of our needs, we are effectively stuck looking for the best partner based on what we are willing to tolerate. Some of us are driven by sexuality, because we have difficulty anchoring ourselves in our bodies. When we do not feel beautiful internally and do not appreciate our creative Beauty, we need to look for it outside ourselves. The expression of pleasure becomes a currency of exchange that we can use to measure our sexual worth. Others are driven by the need for power, which we conflate with information. Ironically, this diminishes our Wisdom and we end up being trapped in our thinking. The more we try to assert ourselves, the more we push others away that are able to think for themselves. Finally, we are driven to prove our Self Importance when we are insecure. The more we believe we deserve a good partner, but are not willing to change ourselves to engage new possibilities, the less successful we are. Pride can get in the way of fantastic relationship possibilities, because they do not fit our idea of success.
In compromised, Co-Dependent relationships, there is only boredom, competition and envy. The structure of these relationships minimizes embodied experiences and the expressions of Life, Light and Love. As long as we operate with holes in our relationships, there is no way to contain any positive feedback and flow. This is why Co-Dependent relationships are incredibly draining. Some would say, Co-Dependence is the great sucking sound that crushes creative possibilities in relationships. This course clarifies where we may be compromising ourselves, and hence, our relationships. It makes clear the bad news of many of our relationship experiences. Hopefully, the class will stimulate the participant to come out and play at a larger level. We need to be able to see how we actively participated in our past relationship failures.
Facilitators: Larry Byram & Sandra Jaquith
Class Schedule: Saturday, June 30th 2018, 12pm-5pm MT (no lunch break)
Location: 2945 Center Green Court, Ste. E, Boulder, CO 80301 (or by webinar)