Introduction To Couples Discovery (Free Intro)

A free intro presentation describing our couples program.

From Co-Dependence To Co-Creativity

After years of ‘falling’ into relationships, we reach a point where we want to consciously choose our partners. We know we create our own destiny and we want to share it with others of like mind. Some of us find deeply satisfying friendships, but have difficulty in romantic relationships because of unbalanced attractions and co-dependent patterns. After developing Self Love and deepening into the relationship with ourselves, we are finally ready to search for similar creative partners in our journey. Some of us also want to transition our current partnerships into conscious commitments.

As couples, we want to become better aligned in our ability to vision, create and implement our aspirations. To do this, we need to find and recreate the harmony of our initial commitment. Without this core agreement, it is easy to grow apart or even give up on the aspirations we seek together. It is also critical to understand and accept each other as we are, which can be an ever evolving process. This discussion builds upon the 15 Compatibility Factors by providing a comprehensive analysis of the strengths and weaknesses of each relationship. Our assessments bring a large range of tools and perspectives so we can honor our intuitive nature and make relationships a masterpiece of creative expression.  

Improving our conflict-resolution skills is a key aspect of this discussion. There is not a simple prescription for how to be with a partner that always works. It is a process of mutual discovery. There is a way to be with each other that is built on a mutual appreciation, respect and esteem. We call this Common Neutral Ground, where we hold an independent space for the relationship. This allows us to separate our personal issues from the relationship space. When we use this as a baseline for working through difficult challenges, it gives us greater confidence and capacity to work on larger creative projects. The goal is to become more magnetic and creatively powerful so we can respond to opportunities and have a larger impact on the world. Co-Creative couples can be three to seven times more expressive because they have a better foundation and reflective balance that uplifts the people around them.

Facilitators: Larry Byram & Karen Thorson

Class ScheduleTuesday, August 212018

Location: 2945 Center Green Court, Ste. E, Boulder, CO 80301

Class Times: 6 to 9pm MST


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Recognizing Defenses :: Class 4: Recognizing Disnamic Defense Style

Disnamic Defense Style individuals jump back and forth between feminine and masculine expressions. It is only when we are Pioneering that we can do the two simultaneously. Disnamic individuals shift back and forth because in their formative years each parent had a different Defense. In order to be seen, they learned to complement each parent by being each one’s mirror image. They are easily identified, because when we engage them in soft ways, they respond with strength, and vice versa. Their goal is to always create a full picture of all sides of a situation so better decisions can be made. Problems arise when they are in groups where some individuals expresses dynamic defense while others express disarming or distant defense. This context is difficult for the dysnamic individual who feels pulled to express several opposing defenses simultaneously and creates friction in their ability to meet the needs of everyone at the same time. They become agitated when they cannot mirror or include thinking and emotional states simultaneously. To accomplish this, they need to take ownership of having both masculine and feminine sides. Otherwise, they incorporate elements of Disarming and Dynamic defenses that are in conflict with each other.

Our biggest fear is that no one will know us as we are. This is because we see ourselves as chameleon, changing our color depending on the circumstances. We see value in counterbalancing and completing others. We need to learn how to do this within ourselves. In addition to reconciling the masculine and feminine polarity, we need to also reconcile interior and exterior experiences. This is the polarity issue between Dynamic (interior) and Disarming (exterior) defense experiences. We become Pioneers when our interior and exterior become fully interrelated and conscious. Disnamic Defense Styles are the most adaptive, translating their experiences between Esteem and Respect or Aliveness and Wisdom. We are most influenced by the Defensive Distortions of our partners. We need to accept that our Motives and Beliefs can be flexible and not fixed.

The source of Defensive Healing is the rebalancing of Aliveness, Wisdom and Awareness. On a defensive level, choosing someone with the same patterns initially feels uncomfortable. This is because we have not yet accepted our own Being on a larger level. Not only does our Defense minimize our creativity, it also makes us question why being with this person would be a smart idea. The answer is that until we can be with others who are like us, we are unable to accept our own wholeness. When we can be seen and accepted by others like ourselves, we naturally strengthen rather than drain each other. It also makes it possible to not have to endlessly explain ourselves to others (because of defensive differences). Disnamic Defense is the easiest to heal, when we seek clarity, to facilitate being a Pioneer.

Facilitators: Larry Byram & Sandra Jaquith

Class Schedule: Thursday, August 16, 2018, 6-9pm MT

Location: 2945 Center Green Court, Ste. E, Boulder, CO 80301 (or by webinar)