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Larry Byram, founder
Enlightened Dating :: Finding Conscious & Complete Partners
Fear in dating causes individuals to lie rather than risk rejection. The desire to be accepted drives us to present only what is appealing about us. Self-importance (or a lack of confidence) encourages us to negotiate for the best deal, despite the odds, believing we may not be able to easily find similar partners. What these compromises miss is the power of Creative Self Affirmation to attract individuals like us, to us. Instead of pursuing a random numbers game, we need to manifest time, energy and space dedicated to being the partner we want to have. This occurs when we transform our Attractions from Excitement to Aliveness, Intensity to Wisdom and Anxiety to Awareness. We are aided when we learn how to identify individuals with similar Compatibility Factors. We also discover how we have been caught in Co-Dependent Attractions that drain us. Letting go of parental patterns, opposite attractions and the need to be superior or better prepared in a relationship frees us up to wisely choose appropriate partners.
The image of dating has taken a hit because of unrealistic romantic expectations. By making love personal, we deny the unity we seek with our partners. Conscious individuals need to prioritize Creative Chemistry over sexual chemistry to manifest long-term partnerships. When we do, it is easy to create sustainable heartfelt connections with great sexuality. More people than ever are caught in Romantic mythology euphoria, where they cannot make decisions for fear that something better will show up. The reality of our relationships is that they are an investment, and that through growth, we transmute, transform and transfigure over time. Enlightened Dating is about seeing the good and bad in our partners to find the one who sees, appreciates and loves us fully for who we are. To accomplish this we must stop looking at our partners as caretakers, power brokers, or needs fulfillment mechanisms. With Co-Creativity (instead of Co-Dependence) we manifest a playful and joyful sharing that is based upon a personal sense of Autonomy. The illusion is that we can figure everything out on our own. While we do need to develop our own understanding, our partner must also be able to share this understanding, or the relationship, being unbalanced, will falter.
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