Aligning Our Actions
Harmony, resonance, and Creative Flow are perceived as rare in relationships. This is due to a lack of consciousness about Motive differences. We, therefore, are continually surprised when our assumptions or, more likely, projections meet inertia, intensity, or resistance in partners. Why do our partners not see things as we do, is the refrain. We are constantly trying to explain ourselves to them when receptivity seems low or impossible. There are three ways to achieve a creative flow with others: 1) our Compatibility Factors are mostly the same; 2) our Authentic Life Expressions are aligned; and 3) we know how to use Motives to align with others in actions. This introductory class discusses the third option of bringing consciousness to our intent and therefore, alignment in our actions.
Non-effective actions are always efforts where we squeeze, crush or wiggle our way through conflicts to shape the actions of others. In other parts of this program, we describe the cost of Parental Imprinting, Defenses, and Pretenses. Each of these mechanisms misdirects, subverts, or enmeshes our actions, respectively. These protective mechanisms lead to constant conflict that produces a tug-of-war between actions. This means that every relationship reflects a degree of alignment or misalignment based on differences in motive. These distortions result in waste. In business, mixed Motives reduce productivity directly. In families and communities, mixed Motives are the biggest irritation that drives the repression of those who are not accepted. This results in any outlying, non-conforming individual (with a different set of motives) becoming a scapegoat.
Where are we in our Motives? Our Motives may be different between individuals. They may combine depending on the degree of attention, acknowledgment, and acceptance we experience with a person. To what degree are we operating transpersonally in our relationships by sharing Motives? Do we actively seek to have times of presence with others in our lives where we synch up? This means we have differentiated our personality from our Creative Self and possess Autonomy. This allows us to engage more conscious possibilities, and it also supports us in acknowledging when people show up focused on the outcome rather than just their personal lives. If you are tired of being in locked-down, non-creative relationships, check out our blog article ‘Obstacles To Conscious Action’ or join the ‘Conscious Action Illustrates Motives’ class.