CD Couples Discovery

As couples, we want to become better aligned in our ability to vision, create and implement our aspirations. To do this, we need to find and recreate the harmony of our initial commitment. Without this core agreement, it is easy to grow apart or even give up on the aspirations we seek together. It is also critical to understand and accept each other as we are, which can be an ever evolving process. It starts with acknowledging where we are now so our reactions do not overshadow our capacity to respond and see each other. This takes relationship Skills, where we understand the difference between seeking independence and being autonomous. Independence promotes separation, while Autonomy empowers creative mutual growth. Improving our conflict-resolution skills is a key aspect of this course. There is not a simple prescription for how to be with a partner that will work. There is a way of being with each other that is built on a mutual appreciation, respect and esteem. We call this Common Neutral Ground, where we hold an independent space for the relationship itself. This allows us to separate our personal issues from the relationship space. When we use this as our baseline learning for working through difficult challenges, it gives us greater confidence and capacity to work on larger creative projects. The goal is to become more magnetic and synergistic so we can respond to opportunities and have a larger impact on the world. Co-Creative couples can be three to seven times more expressive because they have a better foundation and reflective balance that uplifts others around them.

Optimizing Our Ability To Work Together We optimize our ability to work with others by learning how to be ourselves. In today’s world, with all the parental imprinting (where we are taught to behave like our parents), this is no easy task. It takes an act of will and a desire to see the world transpersonally to appreciate how others may not be like us. This capacity to reflect on how people interact with us requires self presence, acceptance and curiosity. There is a fast track learning process, where we amplify by challenging assumptions, perceptions of reality and encouraging greater playfulness. Higher Alignment supports our creative nature so that new solutions can be engaged. We recognize new ways to be synergistic. Higher Alignment also has a web site full of information about all the creative options we see in humanity. As couples, we want to become aligned in our ability to vision, create and implement our aspirations. To do this, we need to find and recreate the harmony of our initial commitment. Without this core agreement, it is easy to grow apart or even give up on the aspirations we seek together. It is also critical to understand and accept each other as we are, which is an ever evolving process. It starts with acknowledging where we are in the moment so reactions do not overshadow our capacity to respond to each other. This takes having relationship Skills, where we understand the difference between seeking independence and being autonomous.

While we may know that our partner is not opposing us, there are times when we feel in opposition to them. The more we connect through ‘Defenses,’ the more co-dependent patterns limit creative and mutual expression. Compromising our Self for others ultimately leads to the loss of freedom. Learning to use a Common Neutral Ground and minimizing Defensive self-identification helps us transition into a greater creative self-awareness. The more we can discuss our differences and honor our similarities, the more likely we will end up with a Co-Creative result. We want to remember there are many ways to express ourselves that do not minimize nor demean a partner’s (or our own) options. The more we know about our partner’s creativity (particularly if we share the same Primary Creative Expression, PCE), the easier it will be to align with them. Improving our conflict-resolution skills is a key aspect of this discussion. There is no simple prescription for how to be with a partner that always works. It is a process of mutual discovery. There is a way to be together that is built on mutual appreciation, respect and esteem. This is called a Common Neutral Ground, where we hold an independent space for our relationship. This allows us to separate personal issues from the relationship space. When we use CNG as a baseline for working through difficult challenges, it gives us greater confidence and capacity to work on larger creative projects together. The goal is to become magnetic and creatively powerful so we can respond to opportunities (and have a larger impact on the world). Co-Creative couples can be three to seven times more expressive because they have a better foundation and reflective balance that uplifts the people around them.

Conscious relationship development comes with many objectives and flavors. In this document we address all kinds of relationships, because nothing in our lives escapes the patterns we discuss. While many might believe we are dealing mostly with romantic relationships, there are twelve basic archetypes of relationships that we engage. Occasionally, we detour into the relationships within organizations to describe particular effects and patterns that become obvious in workgroups. Our goal is not to disrupt the basic flow of how relationships function. We will offer a more detailed document for organizational transformation in the near future. The focus of that document is to lay a foundation for other documents that will discuss Common Neutral Ground, Creative Actualization and Authentic Life Expression. This class builds upon the 15 Compatibility Factors by providing a comprehensive analysis of the strengths and weaknesses of the relationship. It brings a large range of assessment tools and discussions, so we can honor our intuitive nature and make our relationship a masterpiece of creative expression. The four parental assessments help us to identify (provide immediate answers regarding) conflicts that arise from family expectations and parental imprinting. Overall, it provides the basis for identifying our greatest mutual expressions and the capacity to recognize how we can best work as a team. These assessment tools provide a way to customize the general practices we will be learning in the course. The goal of this course is to understand how we can build a creatively empowered and fully expressed conscious partnership.