After years of being frustrated by compromised dating processes we now have a conscious way of quickly validating when a partner stands out. There are three steps to this process: 1) validating our higher creative connection; 2) understanding how conscious and responsive they can be; and 3) recognizing any downsides. Most individuals intuitively know that being seen, supported and loved occurs the most when we embrace similarities. This means connecting and being reflected in our being. We begin by teaching a Common Neutral Ground process for tuning into others and measuring their response to us. We recommend doing this process in three steps over a period of time in the first three to six dates. Since so many individuals have negative hits about potential problems, but later talk themselves out of these concerns, we also teach participants to do an assessment process at the end of each date or connection.
The beauty about this process is that it can be done without saying a word. It is an energetic way to connect with others and mentally invite them to share themselves with us. Imagine affirming your aliveness and then placing this aliveness in the Common Neutral Ground and noticing the response. Does this person respond physically (by becoming more energetic), emotionally (by being more passionate), or intellectually (by talking about ways they love to engage aliveness)? Conscious individuals respond to these invitations in a distinctly powerful way on many levels. They either engage and deepen their connection with you, try to get you to guide them, or do not respond at all. The objective is to learn which qualities potential partners know how to respond to and if they are willing to do so.
While checking into the consciousness of an individual and their qualities it is also important to talk with them directly to confirm your intuitive perceptions. Capturing this information allows you to go through an assessment process to see if they are available and can embrace you as a potential partner. Over time you learn to identify more of the Compatibility Factors that confirm whether a partner’s pattern matches ours. The more similarities we find the less effort will be required to build a quality relationship. What we have to confront is learning how to love ourselves when we find a partner who is similar to us. Choosing someone with similarities starts by choosing a person with the same Defense so we are not compromised by co-dependent forces.
What really works is to not give partners the opportunity to sell themselves as the perfect date (by having it all pre-planned). The more someone practices this dating process the less we will discover about them. In response, we can discuss how to set up open-ended dating opportunities that we call a ‘be with’. Currently, non-traditional Dynamic women and Disarming men have locked themselves into ‘defensive and gender identity roles’ that conflict. We suggest that potential partners choose the same defense pattern because when a defense gets neutralized, it reveals each person’s true intentions. Since we cannot hide anything, we learn how to use higher motives to connect. Creative alignment brings out shifts in gender role expectations so that we are in alignment with a conscious form of sexual chemistry that is ultimately much more sustainable.