Engaging Both Being & Becoming
Individual descriptions make people a target often, because their personal perceptions are different than how others perceive them. This opens the door to criticism, rejection and judgment both internally and externally. In order to consciously show up, we need to own our authentic ways of being, but the cost, for many, is too high. Feedback is unwanted because it highlights authentic vs. compromised ways of expressing our self. Since we do not want to become responsible for our choices, it is easier to default to learning the hard way, by repeating everything until we finally get it right. It makes us believe that we are less than we are and it can set us up for a life of lowered expectations
It takes courage and self-healing to clarify and accept our creative characteristics. By learning about our unique qualities, it empowers us to grow and define our optimum, magnificent contribution. Each one of us has a purpose and internal design that we are driven to fulfill. These life affirming qualities and virtues are called Compatibility Factors by Higher Alignment. Without understanding these characteristics and patterns of engagement, we cannot appreciate or affirm what partners are best for us. We do not value how some individuals polarize and diminish our light, while other enhance it. Hence, we choose friends, romantic and business partners based on parental, co-dependent or idealization patterns.
Twelve Compatibility Factors help us see and acknowledge authentic differences and similarities between us. Three Compatibility Factors reflect our conditioning and upbringing where we protected ourselves, coped, and sought the admiration of others. These negative factors: Imprinting, Defenses and Pretenses are only important when we cannot see or accept our creative greatness. When we identify with these factors, we diminish our light, and use opposite attractions to undermine all development. As we become more independent, we lose touch with our co-creative mission. The more we are preoccupied by our inauthentic nature, the more we reinforce internal guilt, shame and blame.
Inauthentic ways of operating require effort, perseverance and determination. We need to be motivated by fear, denied desire and envy to drive our false persona to assert itself. Negative Compatibility Factors reinforce a mixed understanding of ourselves and other people because we do not know how to distinguish what is authentic or inauthentic in any interaction. Authentic Expressions bring out our beauty, truth and goodness. Inauthentic expressions bring out denial, distortion and contraction where we feel isolated, separated, and insulated from others. This is amplified by co-dependent attractions of Excitement, Intensity, and Anxiety which we attempt to hide from others, least they use these attractions against us.
We believe the only way to reconcile these differences is consciously choose between unconscious repetition and the growth of exploring the unknown. Compatibility Factors are the guideposts for broadening our exploration. They assist us in seeing who we are and distinguishing it from who we are becoming. In a similar way when others engage or disengage us, it could reflect a choice between authentic and inauthentic action. We sometimes believe that this reflects a prevailing impulse desire or fear that motivates a person to act in this way. Since we do it ourselves, we do not recognize that there are coherence patterns that define our purpose that guide us forward. Compatibility Factors in this way help to define our boundaries.
Higher Alignment has done this process with thousands of individuals. We have learned to separate out how our parents trained us to be from who we creatively are. The secret is to recognize that what is authentic is a natural fluid expression without much structure or demand for compliance. As we all shift into more authentic ways of being by growing and learning who we are, our contribution expands beyond our imprinting and defenses so our greatness emerges. This is facilitated by understanding who we are, so we can support ourselves in emerging. It becomes an inner voice or a type of guidance that can help individuals in our lives to emerge into their full being. Join us in exploring our creative nature by letting us guide you to better understand yourself.